5 weeks

So darn tired today. I’m hoping this is because I’m pregnant – it’s one of the list of symptoms which gets bandied about the many zabillions of internet sites devoted to human reproduction – and not merely because I’m working a corporate day job with a long commute and never get enough sleep. Let’s face it, I have a sleep debt going back years. It’s the Taj Mahal of sleep debts.

Or it could be that I’m trying to cut caffinne out of my life like it’s the new tobacco (and failing, I might add). Coffee, I’m afraid, is considered a no-no for the TTC crowd (that’s Trying To Conceive, for those not in the know), and when you’ve been trying so hard you’ve ended up at IVF, you’re usually so desperate for any little thing you can do to help it along that you’ll give up breathing if someone somewhere on the internet suggests it might help.

It’s not that caffinne is a bad-bad-evil, like alcohol or tobacco. But there are some studies which suggest large doses may possibly impair a lass’s ability to conceive and/or lead to problems in early pregnancy. I’ve never been a large doses of caffinne girl. I have been known to consume diet-cola drinks in near-addiction levels, but these have been expunged from my life, along with the red wine I was so fond of in the evenings after work. Indeed, I’ve managed to cut out just about everything.

Except that morning coffee. And the cups of tea later in the day. It was easier to give up the grog than it was the caffinne, I tell you.

So, anyway. Symptoms. Fact is, I don’t have too many. Like the hormonal roller-coaster I was promised but which never really materialised during the IVF shooting-up cycles, I’ve yet to start experiencing much of anything to indicate I am actually pregnant. In fact, aside from a few minor twinges here or there, I’ve not felt much different at all, really. All just normal.

And yes, that does play on the mind. In big chunky anxiety-raising ways.

I’ve read the statistics relating to the ‘m’ word – that which stops pregnancies and which here will only ever be known as ‘That Which Shall Not Be Named Except Sometimes Called The M-Word’ – and I know those stats are higher in relation to IVF buns-in-the-oven. So while there are no indications anything has gone wrong, I’d still feel a bit more comfortable if I got hit with a good dose of morning sickness right about now. Or at least some obviously sore boobs. Or anything, really, to prove this is real and going the way it should.

Yes, I may come to regret that wish. Right now I hope I do.

At the risk of swan-diving into Too Much Information Territory, I have had some minor signs. Mild – very mild – cramp-and-bloating-like sensations, on occasion. A few days where my breasts felt slightly sensitive. It was rare and it didn’t last long. For the first week and a half after transfer, I was on an unnatural high – really, my mood was so good, it was becoming unseemly.

Now, I’m just back to my normal, cheery, cynical self, and busy Googling every pregnancy forum around for confirmation that being 5 weeks pregnant and experiencing no obvious major symptoms is okay. Because that’s what you do when there’s nothing you can do. You google, looking for that wee bit of hope to sustain you until the next round of tests.

I tell you, how did women survive early pregnancy for all those millennia before Teh Interwebs came along?

Blood test on Friday. Waiting for it has become almost as bad as the 2WW. I’ve googled so many sites listing what to expect at 5 weeks pregnant I’m now not sure if I’m actually experiencing symptoms, or am simply imagining I am, psychosomatic-style.

But all in all, I am very tired today. Really freakin’ exhausted. So maybe that’s a good sign. Or maybe I just need more sleep. Or coffee.

Kind regards

The Patient

Published in: on June 8, 2011 at 6:13 pm  Comments (2)  

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. ‘Caffeine’, my dear. ‘Caffeine’. =)

  2. […] 40.  5 weeks […]

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